Malaysian college student and expat Seri Nyonya finds herself missing quite a few things from her home country ever since she moved to the Netherlands three years ago; however, she is living a happy life there now with her partner. Here, this young woman shares what for her are the ups and downs of living in the Netherlands, the cost and standard of living in Arnhem, and some of her plans for the future.

Seri Nyonya

-Where were you born?

I was born in Selangor, Malaysia. The capital city Kuala Lumpur is 20 minutes away by car.

-In which country and city are you living now?

Arnhem, The Netherlands.  Arnhem is a city with about 160 000 people.

-Are you living alone or with your family?

I live with my Dutch boyfriend.

-How long have you been living in the Netherlands?

For 3 years now!

-What is your age?

23

-When did you come up with the idea of living in the Netherlands?

I did not particularly want to move to Europe as I was perfectly happy in Malaysia. Things changed when I met my boyfriend. I am a lot more open to new things than he is, so I decided to pack up to be with him!

-Was it hard to get a visa or a working permit?

No. My visa was approved in just 5 weeks as my partner and I fulfilled all the conditions.

-Was it difficult for you to get medical insurance before you went there or when you first arrived?

Yes, it was frustrating. I needed health insurance to apply for a residence permit. Yet, I couldn't get health insurance without a residence permit! I was told that once my residence permit had been approved, my insurance would be backdated. I thought that would be risky (in the event my residence permit application is denied, I wouldn't be covered and could be stuck with a giant medical bill if I got into an accident) and bought temporary travel insurance. 

-How do you make your living in the Netherlands? Do you have any type of income generated?

I am a full-time student at a college in Arnhem. For extra money, I babysit a little girl. I found the family through Marktplaats. I would like another part-time job but it's hard as I am not fluent in Dutch yet.

-Do you speak Dutch and do you think it's important to speak the local language? Please add your thoughts on local customs and whether it's important for expats to respect/observe local customs.

I speak some Dutch - enough to communicate what I want and answer questions. I can read Dutch very well and can fill out tax forms and other applications by myself. I cannot, however, reply in gramatically correct Dutch nor can I fully participate in conversations. I have passed the integration exam but the level of Dutch there is extremely low.

I think expats should definitely respect local customs but that doesn't mean you have to forget who you are. I was very unhappy for a long time as I felt as if I'd given up my great life, family, a possible good career (I was a student then), friends and simply, a sense of self-worth. Moving here as an 'immigrant' and having to feel like an outsider was hard. Now that I am a student in an international stream, I feel much better. My life does not have to completely change just because I chose to be with my boyfriend. 

-Do you miss home and family sometimes?

Yes. I have a very close family and 3 very good friends. My parents are going to visit me in the summer and my boyfriend and I holiday in Malaysia once a year.

-Do you have other plans for the future?

My degree obviously comes first. From first hand experience, looking for a job, when you live in a small town and can't speak Dutch, is very difficult! I'm afraid to say that my future plans are somewhat mundane- graduate, get a good job and hopefully, work abroad (if the bf agrees ), have babies... you get the picture! I would love to move back to Malaysia for a while simply because the support system I have there is very good. Here, it's hard to get someone to babysit our cat when we're on holiday!

Don't get me wrong - I am happy here now and I am aware that there are certain things I will miss about The Netherlands. However, my parents are extremely important to me. 

-What about housing, have you bought, or are you renting a home? How much do you pay for it?

We rent a simple unfurnished 2-bedroom apartment. We pay 1000 euro per month and it includes gas, water and electricity.

-What is the cost of living in the Netherlands?

Living in Arnhem is cheaper than Amsterdam. Dollar to dollar (or should I say euro-ringgit), The Netherlands is cheaper than where I lived. Taxes are high but I guess I don't really mind paying as that means I would have a safety net if I get retrenched or fired. I also will not need to save for my children's education. In Malaysia, tertiary education cost between 11 000 euro (excl. living expenses) right up to 220 000 euro (medical studies in the UK with very basic living expenses). Groceries in The Netherlands can be expensive or cheap depending where you shop. The Aldi is ridiculously cheap and as can be expected, speciality shops can be costly. 

In short:

Cheaper - alcohol, going out, eating out at restaurants, education, gym, cars etc.

More expensive - washing machines, kitchen aids (!!!), Asian food, cleaning services, clothes.

-What do you think about the Dutch? 

As I am not a Muslim immigrant, I think the Dutch in general are somewhat indifferent to me. They are not normally mean to me nor are they helpful. 

I have Dutch friends now but they are different from the Dutch people I've met outside school. I think my Dutch friends are more open-minded (or they wouldn't have chosen an international course). 

-What are the positive and negative aspects of living in the Netherlands?

 I like the 4-seasons - although it can be quite dreary in the winter. It's dark, gloomy and people are SO grumpy but then, I love The Netherlands in the summer. I like how the sun shines right til 10 p.m. and how happy everyone is.

Every country is different so I can't really say what's positive or negative but only MY perception of them. I think the only negative aspect I can think of (all the other small negative details are probably sub-categories of this!) is that this is not my home country and I therefore will not have the same support system here nor will I have the same sense of belonging or purpose, and I am never quite sure if what I'm doing is 'strange' or not to Dutch eyes. I once wanted to give a neighbour a tart I'd baked as he'd cleaned the hallway for us but was told that would be inappropriate! So yes, there's a sense of constantly being unsure.  

-Do you have any tips for our readers about living in the Netherlands?

Learn the language (that's obvious. I am aware that being fluent is really hard though!), keep an open mind, don't worry if you start to hate the country after a while - that's normal! You'll get over it eventually, do try to make friends but don't get bummed out if the Dutchies don't want to be (you can always meet expats). If you can, try to live in a big city or close to one as there will be shops and more possibility to meet people.

-Do you have any favorite Web sites or blogs about the Netherlands?

My Blog: http://deliciouslylekker.blogspot.com, which is mostly about food and my life here. 

Dutch transportation system: http://www.9292ov.nl