Living in another country has its up and downs, as British expat Nicola can confirm. Here she elaborates on what for her are the positive and negative aspects of expat life in Amersfoort in the Netherlands, describes her expat coaching and advice business, and gives tips on adjusting to Dutch life and culture.	Nicola McCall

-Where were you born?

I was born near the Chalfonts, Buckinghamshire, South England.

-In which country and city are you living now?

Amersfoort, geographically in the centre of the Netherlands

-Are you living alone or with your family?

I live with my partner and son.

-How long have you been living in the Netherlands?

We first came in April 2004, then had a temporary move to US, end of 2006.  We've been back since January 2007.  So in total over 4 years.

-What is your age?

I'm in my 40's.

-When did you come up with the idea of living in the Netherlands?

It's due to my partner's work with a Dutch Bank that we are here.  They first suggested a move to the Netherlands in 2000 and we were reluctant as we had a great life in London and I had a career and job I enjoyed.  I actually think now reflecting back, that the events of September 11th in 2001 made us question our lives in London and our general lifestyle, so we agreed to make a move to the Netherlands.  I even started to learn Dutch.  Then he was asked to work on a project in Dublin which became a permanent work offer and we decided to go there  in 2002, as I would be able to work and had family connections!  In early 2004 he was then moved to HO here in the Netherlands.  By that time we had a baby and due to my partner's regular travel and communication with the Netherlands we felt that it would be a more family-friendly environment to raise a child in as well as progress his career.

-Was it hard to get a visa or a working permit?

As a EU citizen it wasn't difficult.  Paperwork was handled by a relocation agent but it did take 6 months for our verblijfsdocuments - permission to stay/ ID cards - to be issued.  In hindsight and with knowledge of what other expats have gone through here in processing paperwork, we were very lucky, even though it was frustrating at the time.

-Was it difficult for you to get medical insurance before you went there or when you first arrived?

No, we already had an international medical insurance via the company.  We went onto a local contract last year and my partner arranged Dutch medical cover through the bank's HR function.  This has been more frustrating to use as communication with call line staff sometimes is difficult due to language and lack of clarity on how things work whereas previously our level of cover was clearer and all in English.

-How do you make your living in the Netherlands? Do you have any type of income generated?

I set up an expatriate coaching and advice practice in 2006.  I work mainly with English-speaking female expats.  I did this as I needed to find work to keep myself happy, but could not find paid work locally that fitted with responsibilities of being a sole carer for my child most of the time - my partner works abroad a lot and we initially had no social network around us to help out and of course no family.  I had found a role based near Amsterdam shortly after we arrived, but when my partner went to work in New York at the time I was due to start and I did not have full child care, plus had a journey of 3 hours; I thought this will send me mad!  Perhaps I was too cautious, but I don't regret my decision, especially as I now have a career I love and that fits with my life!

-Do you speak Dutch and do you think it's important to speak the local language?

I was keen to learn Dutch on arrival (I'd learnt Hebrew living in Israel and thought if I can do that I can certainly learn this) and took evening classes for first level as I wanted to meet other expats to widen my social network.  I enjoyed the learning but found the language difficult to use!  In 2006 I had one to one lessons to improve my oral abilities - this required lots of study and what I found was I still had little opportunity to practise regularly and heard little spoken Dutch around me - being an expat is quite isolating if you are not working and generally at home with a small child!  If I tried to practise with neighbours they'd usually humour me for a while then start to talk in English as they didn't want to have conversations with a 4-year-old!!!

Following our time in the US, on return I found that I had lost a lot of my ability to understand spoken Dutch as well lost a lot of vocabulary.  This was really difficult to deal with and as we were unsure if we were staying during 2007 I didn't take up learning the language again.  I can read, understand signs and requests, do my shopping, so day to day manage, but i have to ask for help in English when dealing with bigger issues!!! This can be frustrating!  

Motivation and need to learn the language as well as being in an environment where you hear the language around you daily are important factors to succeed with learning!

-Do you miss home and family sometimes?

I miss London a great deal, I find life in general here much quieter and sometimes boring and my choices of activities tend to be limited due to language, time, child care!  I really miss going to the theatre and museums, eating out, meeting up with girlfriends for a drink, meal, shopping, spur of the moment stuff.  Some of this has changed due to moving but also due to becoming a parent!  Family wise - I'm from a family where we were always geographically separated - Dad's work and we were fairly independent in our teens and 20's.  As we're getting older though we tend to be more in contact but as the UK is only an hour's flight away visiting makes being part of the family easy.  Friends on the whole have moved on in their lives - mortgages, marriages, jobs, children - so we tend to be Facebook/email friends now - I think this is natural.  I have more friends from living abroad now.

I enjoy cycling here - it's so easy!  I'd not been on a bike in 20 years till I came here.  Its a great way to find out about living in the Netherlands, a form of exercise and all the family can do it.  I love to sit on a terras at a cafe and watch the world go by too.  I joined an international women's group here (IWCU) and I enjoy activities with them.  There is plenty to join in here if you are sporty (I'm not!) - my partner goes to a running club, my son is in a swimming group. The language can be an issue on arrival if not in main expat areas such as Den Haag (The Hague) or Amsterdam.

-Do you have other plans for the future?

I would like to develop my coaching practice at present.  I would hope that we will return to the UK by 2010.  However, if the opportunity to go elsewhere in the world came up, who knows.  I would like our son to spend some of his life growing up in the UK as he is English, and especially to spend time with his cousins who are of a similar age.

-What about housing, have you bought, or are you renting a home? How much do you pay for it?

With hindsight I wish we had bought when we came in 2004 as the market has gone up here considerably in the area we are in.  However, we were told it was a 2-year assignment and it costs 10% of the purchase price in tax, costs, etc., on top of the actual house that we considered we wouldn't make that back if only here for 2 years.  Regrettably we would have!!!  It would also have ensured we felt a little more at home here, in charge of living arrangements and more settled.

We have a rental house - which is expensive monthly but the going rate for an expat home.  To buy similar (11 rooms: 5 beds, 2 baths, dining room, living room, kitchen diner, office) would be 800-900k Euros in this area and even then at that price it might need a lot of work.  The house we rent had had a lot of renovation by the owners, including the fitting of an ensuite bathroom, an enlarged diner kitchen and an attic converted into bedrooms which are unusual in most Dutch homes.

-What is the cost of living in the Netherlands?

I still find it cheaper than Ireland and UK in most general purchases.  Utility-wise it seems more expensive.  Prices have gone up recently as reflected generally across the world.  My average weekly grocery shop (3 people) is about 150 Euros.

-What do you think about the Dutch?

Decent people who tend to be private on one side yet open to telling you what they think on the other?  Curious mix.  With neighbours we find that if we go to them they usually help but they would not come to ask if we need help and I believe that is cultural.  

In general though, living in Holland can be wearing as people can be rude, brusque, unhelpful (why would I want your problem), lacking in customer service, lacking in empathy/sympathy, queue jumpers (well, that is if there is a queue), direct, appointment obsessed, space grabbing, arrogant, bumper to bumper speeding drivers with no road sense, love a bargain and are spend thrift.  

Yet, they are mannered, intelligent (dual languages general), well travelled, good company, like to enjoy themselves at the right time and enjoy gezellig (cosy) surroundings and when you are friends they love to show you the lovely aspects of their country and how it works.

-What are the positive and negative aspects of living in the Netherlands?

Positives - child friendly everywhere, cheap trains and cheap wonderful bouquets of flowers, gezellig environments, being able to get to countryside and near water easily, bicycling for enjoyment and health, Schiphol airport is a hub to lots of other international destinations and Europe is so accessible by car.

Negatives - a lot of the attributes above, a tendency to see black and white in administration/bureaucracy, that you need to fit in a box and if you don't that's strange, the weather - the rain and low clouds!, supermarkets are still poor on selection and choice (gotten better since 2004 but still...), flatness does become dull after a while! The shops outside of Amsterdam don't open on Sundays (that can be a benefit too sometimes) and sometimes it's very boring as I'm not living in the a strong expat environment and am limited by what I do due to my language skills.

-Do you have any tips for our readers about living in Holland?

• Ask questions. Never assume you'll be told all the information or details and check with anyone you can that what you were told is correct!  Bureaucracy here changes constantly.

• Accept you are not being rejected when your Dutch colleagues don't invite you to do something after work or to come to their home.  That's work and that's home. This may not be the same with younger people.

• Learn some Dutch. It's always appreciated but not necessarily required!

• If you are spouse without work - find an activity group for expats to join even if you have never been that sort of person.  Here you will find people who know exactly what you are going through and have been it and done it.

• Get out and about when you arrive - visit the local tourist information offices (VVV), buy a bicycle, get a train discount card (ask at the station)

• Learn to let things go at times!  It doesn't work like it does at home, it will take you longer to resolve if at all and can drive you potty keeping at it - change what is necessary but let the rest go where you can.

-Do you have any favorite Web sites or blogs about the Netherlands?

My website has information on expat living: www.livelifenowcoaching.com

For parents and parents to be: www.parentinginholland.com

For information on living in the Netherlands as an expat:
www.access-nl.org
www.expatica.com