The Netherlands has been good to Singaporean expat M. Janssen, who has been living there for eight years. That isn't to say everything is picture-perfect, but being an expat in Holland has been a positive experience for her overall. Here she describes what she likes and dislikes about being an expat in the Netherlands, and shares tips -- based on her own experiences and observations -- that you might find useful if you're planning on moving to Holland.

M Janssen

-Where were you born?

Singapore

-In which country and city are you living now?

I live in a town called Geleen in the province of Limburg in the south of The Netherlands.

-Are you living alone or with your family?

I live with my husband and 4-year-old daughter.

-How long have you been living in the Netherlands?

This summer will be my 8th year here.

-What is your age?

33

 -When did you come up with the idea of living in Holland?

I met my Dutch-born husband through the Internet in 2001 and we decided I would move here after we got married. His job was better paying than mine and plus he had already owned a house so it made more sense for me to come here than for us to have to start from square one all over again in Singapore.

-Was it hard to get a visa or a work permit?

We were married first in Singapore and I have the advantage of coming from a first world country so there were no bureaucratic hang ups. That being said, there was a lot of paperwork and a long waiting time, which I have since found out is normal here. I made it just in time before 9/11, after which they have made it extremely difficult and a lot more tedious.

-Was it difficult for you to get medical insurance before you went there or when you first arrived?

Yes, because once I arrived in the Netherlands, my temporary visa was revoked and I had to re-apply and wait for another one. The long waiting period meant that only one insurance company would accept me and we had to go along with it for about six months before I received my new visa. It wasn't difficult per se just very infuriating and frustrating.

-How do you make your living in Holland? Do you have any type of income generated?

My lack of prowess for the Dutch language and the dialect made it difficult for me to get a job, any job.  I even tried housekeeping and it only lasted a day. My luck changed in 2004 when I got a job as an assistant archivist with an aircraft maintenance company in Maastricht-Aachen Airport through the employment agency Randstad. They needed someone with a strong command of English to help in their archives department and to communicate with their counterparts in other parts of the English-speaking world like Canada and Nigeria.

I didn't even bother trying to speak Dutch at the interview and it did the trick because I beat out several other candidates, all Dutch natives. I have been told by many people that if I live in the Randstad area (in the North where the big cities Amsterdam, The Hague, Rotterdam are), I would not have a problem getting a job but because I am in the provincial, less progressive part of the Netherlands, it will forever be a challenge unless I get really lucky again.

-Do you speak Dutch and do you think it's important to speak the local language?

I had tried to learn Dutch in Singapore with private classes but a skill is useless unless it is being used and I had to wait for another half a year before I could begin my 'inburgeringscursus' (a mandatory integration course for all immigrants to the Netherlands where we were supposed to be taught how to integrate but it was just mostly learning the language). In the meantime, I went for private lessons once a week and whilst it did give me an edge during my first level of Dutch classes, the inefficient teacher I had for my second held me back. The one teacher I had, my husband, was a very bad (language) one and could never explain to me the rules of grammar and vocabulary in the Dutch language so I didn't learn as fast as I could have.

I never hesitated to learn the language as I come from a multi-racial country so I understand the importance of knowing another language to be able to communicate with your friends and neighbours. Unfortunately, my progress was hindered by the locals I met who all spoke the provincial dialect, Limburgese (a mix of Dutch and German). It is so varied that it even differs from town to town so it took me a long time to get comfortable with the language enough to speak it as fluently as I do now. I was already very apprehensive in practising the standard Dutch I had learnt and it was made worse by everyone else speaking Limburgese. As glad as I am to receive the compliments I do now, I almost always point out about the intractable annoyance that is the dialect.

-Do you miss home and family sometimes? Describe your favorite recreational activities there or those that are available.

I think it is very natural to miss home the first few years but I missed my independence most of all. I was used to getting things done on my own and here I had to wait for my husband for every little thing until I learnt enough to do it on my own. As a food lover, I miss our local cuisines the most as we have almost everything from Italian pasta to Chinese wok (the real deal and not the horrible stuff they serve in Chinese eateries here). I miss hanging out with my friends at the food centres and stuffing our faces until our belts burst. You can't eat like that here. I used to love going to the movies and dinner every Saturday night but eating out is expensive here so if I go the movies, I can only afford coffee afterwards.

I loved cycling but Singapore is so busy that I could only do it at certain designated places and when I came here, it was my main source of transport. I need it to get to everywhere so that has made up for the lack of other recreational facilities.  I do wish they have more things to do here especially in winter when the weather gets so depressing.

-Do you have other plans for the future?

I hope to be able to get a part-time job and build it up from there. I would also like to learn German so it can help in my job search and I can communicate better when we shop and visit friends in Germany. I don't always have to wait for my husband to translate every little thing for me then!

The Netherlands has been good to me and I have had a happy, good life since I moved here but I do hope to move to another country in the future, preferably one with a warm climate but still within the confines of the continent. I don't rule out returning to my homeland but only if things change for the better there.

-What about housing, have you bought, or are you renting a home? How much do you pay for it?

My husband bought his childhood home from his father for a steal of 90,000 guilders (±€40,000) back in 1997 and we have continued living in the same house. We renovated it in 2004 in time to receive our daughter and I have been told I am fortunate as housing in the bigger Dutch cities are more expensive and for the same price, I would probably get something half the size. There are a lot of new houses being built now which mostly caters to either the yuppie couple or a family with 2 working parents where space is constraint and prices are steep. "Old" houses like mine are more spacious and reasonably less expensive but require a lot of maintenance.

-What is the cost of living in the Netherlands?

Everything is twice as expensive here but living near the German border enables us to take advantage of lower shopping costs there. Online shopping has also eased some of our budgetary constraints. I still can't get used to the high taxes here though.

-What do you think about the Dutch? 

Prior to coming here, I had met some of my husband's friends who were kind enough to travel to Singapore for our wedding and they were all warm, friendly and kind people. It gave me a false illusion of the real Dutch person and thus, I am still not used to the brash honesty and 'in-your-face' approach the Dutch have. It's hard to not take it personally when they are so blatant and for someone who wasn't raised in this culture, we aren't as quick to retaliate. I get the ‘honesty-is-the-best policy' bit but they should realise that it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

The Dutch are sticklers for their tradition and culture and get very offended if you break them. You have to make an appointment for everything, even just a simple visit, which leaves no room for flexibility and spontaneity, two fun virtues sorely lacking here. If I need something, even help, I have to ask for it and whilst it's quite alright to ask for some things, I get tired of having to ask for everything all the time so I have stopped asking altogether.  They should also realise that it's nice to be asked, even if once in a while. Whilst they like to think of themselves as friendly, they are, but only to the people who are similar to them. Being friendly and being left-wing is two different things but the Dutch like to think of them as the same.

I have only recently befriended the rest of my 9 neighbours (prior to this summer, I only knew 2) and it's pretty useless now because I could have used their company when I first came here 7 years ago. I realise they like to take their time to get to know a person before they become friendly with them but all we need is a friendly face. After 7 years, I finally made my first full-fledged Dutch friend (our children attend the same playschool) and she is warm and friendly but I am not about to run out and make new (Dutch) friends.The phrase 'once bitten, twice shy' comes to mind.

 -What are the positive and negative aspects of living in the Netherlands?

It is a child-friendly country with generous maternity packages and a comprehensive and balanced education system (students get every Wednesday afternoons off). There are also many alternatives for education after the mandatory secondary school so if one is not academically inclined; it is not the end of the world for them, unlike back in Singapore. They have tough recycling laws here which sit well with ecologically conscious people like me. I also prefer the absence of the paper chase and/or appearances upkeep and altogether rat face which haunted me back in Singapore. The pace of life (at least here in suburbia) is slow and unexciting which is perfect if you want to raise a family but unfortunate if you are a young adult with an active social life.

Customer service here is probably the worst in the world (I have seen cashiers chatting with each other whilst I'm waiting in line to make a purchase) so shopping isn't exactly a joy. Living costs are high because of the taxes so unless you are in a high paying job, be prepared to cut back costs. For those who love varied cuisines, there aren't many here and most 'exotic' restaurants amend their food to adapt to the Dutch taste buds. The Dutch refuse to eat anything the least bit spicy or the least bit different and dining out is very expensive.

The Dutch have a long history of tolerance towards immigrants but just because it is easy for immigrants to enter and stay in the country (not anymore), doesn't mean to say it is easy period. They have an uncomfortable relationship with immigrants here and on the whole, they are just basically tolerating them because they have to. They have a high opinion of themselves because they are admired internationally for their left-wing politics but that has caused them a lot of trouble in recent years and tides are turning. They have also done all the wrong things when it comes to immigration and there are cases where immigrants have been here for decades without learning the language nor doing a day's job which causes a lot of friction with the Dutch natives who pay high taxes for the immigrants to live on. They are now only just beginning to rectify it but it is too little too late. Privately, they mostly leave the immigrants alone but they don't do much to help them integrate either.

 -Do you have any tips for our readers about living in the Netherlands?

• If you don't have a thick skin, get one. You need it to deal with the Dutch mentality.

• Don't take anything personally or you'll drive yourself crazy. They are who they are but do not let them suck you in either.

• Have patience. Lots of it. You need it when dealing with official matters like getting your visa. The waiting alone is enough to make you go crazy.

• Do not compare yourself with anyone else who has migrated here, especially someone who did it at the same time you did. We all lead our lives in our own pace and whilst one person might take a month to fully adapt, others will take years. Just try your best, which is all you can do

• Try to make friends but do not expect people to show you any mercy just because you're a foreigner or new to the country.

• You must want to give it a chance. Complain all you want but be fair enough to yourself to give it your best shot if not for anything so at least you can tell yourself (and others need be) that you tried your best. Be honest about your expectations but be realistic about them as well.

• Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to adjust and if you still find that you can't handle your new living situation, either do something about it or get out of the country. Not all of us are meant to live in a country other than our own.

-Do you have any favorite Web sites or blogs about the Netherlands?

www.9292ov.nl – this will tell you how to literally get from one address to another.

www.undutchables.nl – a tongue-in-cheek but honest site about living here.

www.dutchnews.nl – online English language Dutch news website.