I am not here to change Korea. I am here to perhaps let Korea change a little bit of me. Wise words from Danielle, a young American expat working as an English teacher in Seoul. Here she shares with us how she came to live and work in Korea, the challenges of adjusting to the local culture and what she's learned from them, and various other aspects of her daily expat life in South Korea.	Danielle Buckley

-Where were you born?

I was born in Florida, but moved with my parents to Tennessee when I was only 6 months old, so I claim Tennessee as my home. I grew up in a log cabin my father built in a small town called Smyrna, just outside of Nashville. I love sweet tea, but I don't have too much of a Southern accent.

-In which country and city are you living now?

I am currently living in Seoul, South Korea.

-Are you living alone or with your family?

I live by myself, but my fiance is Korean and he lives here with his family, so it's kind of like having family here. And of course, I have a core group of friends, mostly people from the English worship service I attend on Sundays and my fiance's friends who are so good to take me in!

-How long have you been living in Korea?

I've been in Korea since March of this year, so a little over 7 months

-What is your age?

25

-When did you come up with the idea of living in Korea?

Well, I first considered living in Korea while living in the UK. I was staying in Exeter, getting my Master's degree in English Literature with a concentration in Creative Writing, and met my fiance there. We were in the same program. After a year together, we decided we hadn't had enough and it would be much easier for me to move to Korea than for him to find work in the U.S. The decision wasn't so hard actually. I wanted to be with the man I loved and I was somewhat qualified to teach English. I had a loan to pay off from my studies abroad and could make good money working in Korea. And I decided that I'd give the boyfriend a year to ask me to marry him. Seemed reasonable. (And it worked, by the way!)

-Was it hard to get a visa or a working permit?

I wouldn't say it was difficult, but it was rather tedious. The paperwork required is sometimes redundant and it's hard to get all the information you need up front from the numerous government offices you need to visit. So I had to go some places twice because they didn't inform me of everything I needed to have. Just the normal bureaucracy taking its toll. I did have to go for an interview at the Korean Consulate in Atlanta, which is luckily only about 4 hours from my house. The interview was a breeze. The consular asked me why I wanted to go to Korea. I told him I'd like to teach English and that my boyfriend lived there. He said, "Your boyfriend? Is he Korean?" I told him he was and he replied, "Well, it seems like you have a great reason to go to Korea." And that was that.

-Was it difficult for you to get medical insurance before you went there or when you first arrived?

Um, medical insurance is provided through my employer, so it wasn't difficult to secure because it's in my contract. When I arrived in Korea I went for a health check, which was fairly routine, and then once I had my residence card, I had insurance. And it's a good thing, too, because in July I got appendicitis of all things and had to have my appendix out. Having surgery in a foreign country is... well, it's an experience all its own.

-How do you make your living in Korea? Do you have any type of income generated?

I teach English at a Korean kindergarten. I teach 5 and 6 year olds. My job is pretty sweet because I teach younger kids, so my hours are reasonable. I work from 9:20 to 4:00 every day, never weekends or overtime. I get an hour for lunch and go out for coffee with my colleagues. My kids are a bit wild and it's stressful sometimes, but hey, it's a job.

I found my job on Dave's ESL Cafe, an immensely helpful site that has job listings for almost anywhere in the world. I suggest anyone looking to teach in a foreign country go there first. My school placed an ad there and I answered the ad by sending an email to the principal. We spoke on the phone a few times, emailed a lot, and it definitely helped to have my boyfriend on the phone and visiting the school to make sure everything was legit in Korea.

-Do you speak Korean and do you think it's important to speak the local language?

I speak enough Korean to get by but am definitely studying in hopes to be fluent someday. I am marrying into a Korean family and so I think it's respectful to attempt to communicate with them in their language.

I think it's extremely important for expats to BE AWARE of local customs, even if it's impossible to entirely respect them. Armed with the knowledge of the culture that you're interacting within will save you embarrassment, money, and possibly the reputation of your homeland. Although I sometimes become frustrated with the culture and traditions here in Korea, I try to temper that frustration with a genuine attempt at understanding why things are the way they are. I think when you learn to love the people, you have more compassion and more tolerance for things that are unfamiliar to you.

I think the most important thing I've learned here is that just because that's not the way I do it, doesn't make it the wrong way to do something. It might be harder, or less logical, or less appealing, but that doesn't mean it's not a legitimate way of getting something done. I also find that the more I learn about Korean history, the easier it is for me to deal with cultural misunderstandings and to find the reason or cause for things.

-Do you miss home and family sometimes?

I definitely miss my family and I miss talking. One of the things I miss the most is talking about books. Now, you can buy any amount of English books in Korea, as the language is vying for religious standing at the moment. In fact, I purchased 5 today. But what I miss most is being surrounded by my friends who read, my friends who write, and my friends who are interested in authenticity. Sometimes I miss the downright frankness and forthrightness of my community at home. Korean society is markedly different and sometimes it's frustrating when I run into formality at every turn, or niceness without kindness. So I definitely miss that.

I also miss being comfortable. I find that most people, more than being wealthy or being successful or being happy, will almost always settle for being comfortable. Most of my day is spent listening to a language I only understand bits and pieces of. Everyday things that used to be simple for me, like buying exactly what I want at the store, become a bit more of a task. Even doing the laundry is daunting because I can't read the controls on the machine! So, I miss being able to function freely and feel competent. But at the same time, I appreciate this new unfamiliar territory, mostly because it keeps me humble and when you are humble, you are willing to learn.

-Do you have other plans for the future?

-What about housing, have you bought, or are you renting a home? How much do you pay for it?

The truth? Everything in Seoul is expensive. The further from the city you go, the less you pay for housing. I pay a small amount of my housing fee because I refused to live in the apartment the school picked for me. (Or I should say, my fiance refused on my behalf. He found me something much closer to him and close to the subway station, bless his heart!) So because I picked something above their housing allowance, I pay a small portion of my rent each month out of my salary. But my colleague, who is currently living in an apartment the school picked for her, pays nothing.

My one-room officetel is 650,00won a month. There was also key money, but my school worked that out, so I have no idea how much it was. Usually, your school will either pay your rent directly, or they will give you a housing allowance. My apartment is one room with a kitchenette, full size fridge, a stove top, a washing machine, paltry but make-it-work closet space and a spacious bathroom. I miss having an OVEN! I recently bought a toaster oven and it has changed my life! I also invested in a food dehydrator or dryer for my food waste because in Korea, the trash must all be separated into certain color-coded bags in order for it to be picked up by the city. Food dryer: expensive but makes cooking immensely less disgusting and keeps you from having small bags of rotting food smelling up your apartment as you wait to fill them up with more food scraps to take them out!

-What is the cost of living in Korea?

I am living very comfortably on around 500,000 won a month (you can do the math and convert that to your own currency) and saving the rest of my paycheck. Of course, I don't wear makeup, buy hair styling products, buy clothes, or worry about going to fancy restaurants. I do spend money on commuting, good coffee, books, and food. So really, you can decide how you want to live in Seoul - you can save or you can spend it all.

-What do you think about the Koreans?

I obviously appreciate Korean culture, and most of that comes from being in love with a Korean. But the way you are treated varies and often depends upon where you are staying in Korea. In Seoul, foreigners are becoming more common, but you will still be stared at because staring is not necessarily a social faux pas here. You will find that the most marked reactions to your presence will come from the older generation. The middle-aged and older women will sometimes be so insistent that you have a seat on the train that you feel uncomfortable, or sometimes they will scowl at you and mutter under their breath at the "wegukin" or foreigner.

The further out of Seoul you go, the more your celebrity status will rise. In some small towns, the English teacher will be the only foreigner and so they tend to be popular and revered and taken care of by the community. In Seoul, you'll be surprised at how many other expats you'll meet, and in Itaewon, (the guidebook calls this English town the armpit of Seoul), I am uncomfortable due to the amount of conversations I can understand, and it seems to spin my head a bit because I know I'm in Korea, but I feel like I'm in a dingy backstreet of downtown Nashville, with bars, nightclubs, and annoying vendors on the street. You'll get all sorts of reactions out of Koreans, but most of mine have definitely been positive.

-What are the positive and negative aspects of living in Korea?

Positives include gaining an understanding of community; cheap, reliable AND CLEAN public transport; the home delivery of anything you can think to order; great food; great fashion if you are US size 0-2 (which I am most definitely not); the generosity of Koreans in general is overwhelming; a million opportunities to experience another culture and truly participate in the society; kimchi and Korean food culture; the utter lack of masculinity issues in the male population toting man purses, wearing hot pink, and fixing each other's hair; noraebangs (karaoke rooms where you sing with just your friends for hours on end!); I'm leaving out so many things.

The negatives include the incredible emphasis on appearance and vanity; wide-spread acceptance of drunkenness as a hobby for the working class; pushing and shoving in the subway (there's a reason my blog used to be entitled Rage in the A.M.); the lack of toilet paper in public restrooms; I'm leaving out so many things.

-Do you have any tips for our readers about living in Korea?

I think the most helpful thing for me has been having an inside look at the social, cultural phenomenon by having Korean friends. Sure, you can hang out with just foreigners, you can totally isolate yourself from Koreans and their culture, but you will miss out if you do. Prepare yourself for things to not always make sense and be kind to yourself when you find you cannot understand things. I have been here for almost a year and sometimes I still struggle to comprehend the things that go on around me. But the thing I tell myself over and over when I get frustrated is that I am not here to change Korea. I am here to perhaps let Korea change a little bit of me.

-Do you have any favorite Web sites or blogs about South Korea?

I have a blog called ChubbO Chubbington, which can be found at http://tuesdaysborrower.blogspot.com. There are plenty of awesome expats blogging in Korea and many of them are linked on my site. I like to write about the frustrations of commuting in Seoul (see Rage in the A.M. posts, or those tagged with Seoul metro), the difficulties and joys of planning a wedding in a foreign country, the people I miss back home, and sometimes just whatever made me laugh or sob that day.

There's a great site for any questions you have about Korea or Koreans in general (or specifically) called Ask a Korean. You can email The Korean any and all enquiries and read all the questions he's already answered and more at http://askakorean.blogspot.com.

Look at Stuff Korean Moms Like for a humorous and insider look at the attributes of a Korean mom, the ajummah! You can find Chiyo and her K-mom at http://stuffkoreanmomslike.blogspot.com.

Anyway, I am enjoying my life in Korea and hope that you enjoyed this interview as well! Thanks for reading.