Desperate Measures
Cartoon by Berthe Mandaat and section of a column by Amy Donovan, published in the Phuket Post on 21 August 2009
"The first few weeks of expat life in Phuket prove to be a zany time as you start to experience the customs and cultures of a totally new environment. You learn to untie your shoes in lightning speed before entering Thai establishments and homes – and to never wear socks with holes in again. You learn to refrain from leaping out your moving car when four scooters drive towards you on the wrong side of the road. You learn to say hello and thank-you in Thai. You learn to eat without a knife in local restaurants. You learn to carry your own toilet paper in your hand bag.
Making friends on this small island is however, a different story. You find yourself so desperate you start considering things you would never ordinarily conceive of.
Have you ever had to grip your trolley handle hard to
prevent yourself from hugging a total stranger in the super market cereal aisle? Have you spent days trawling Thai Visa to find out where everyone is hanging out only to sit in the same empty bars staring blankly at your boyfriend night after night?"
Chicky Net - A social network for (expat) women living in Thailand
When I moved to Phuket in December 2008 I found it extremely difficult to meet nice people and especially other women. In total desperation I decided to try and set up a social network in March 2009 called Chicky Net Phuket. The response to the local network was phenomenal and in its short existence we now have over 500 members and are growing by the day.
The wonderful thing about the website is that it is mainly run by the members as the girls can organize events themselves. And even though the network itself is girls-only, most of the events are open to men giving them a chance to meet people as well. When you look at Thai Visa there are hardly any women posters and it makes you wonder if there are any women at all in Thailand. I find it just amazing to see how incredibly active our forum is, especially when you consider it involves only Phuket. In the network several special interest groups have been formed by ladies who want to get together if they have similar interests. They meet for playdates with their children, they play tennis, exchange experiences in having a farang/thai relationships or they meet just to have a spontaneous dinner. Chicky Net is all about experiencing fun things and making friends along the way.
Local networks in Thailand
The fact that the Phuket network, http://chickynet.com/, is such an enormous success inspired me to think big. My dream is to have local networks all over Thailand. Recently new networks have been launched in Bangkok, Chiang Mai and Koh Samui
The response from the members are always extremely rewarding and make all the work worth it. Hopefully, if you have just arrived in Thailand, you can avoid the desperate measures mentioned in the column.
Welcome to Chicky Net – the social network for girls living in Thailand!
Berthe, Ah, the challenges
Berthe,
Ah, the challenges of living in a foreign county. Exciting, yes?
'You learn to untie your shoes in lightning speed before entering Thai establishments and homes'
You know SE Asia is 'home', when...
...you are confronted with a sea of shoes that slip on. And they are yours.
...you 'borrow' the man's socks when off-station (no matter how huge). And pretend they are yours.
'Making friends on this small island is however, a different story'
It is even more difficult after the first flush. When you move to a new country and find 'the' friend, too soon they move on. Or you do. Do that enough times and you become gun-shy.
A country ago the husband of a soon to be good friend explained that very same thing about his wife. He pleaded with me to please be patient as she was leery of losing anyone else.
He explained that she cherished her friendships, and that the thought had become too difficult to bear.
At the time I did not understand. I do now.
Expat friendships can be fleeting. But when they are good, they are for a lifetime. Even when one or the other moves on.
So kudos to you for creating a networking site for women.
Why Live in a Place you do not like?
I never understood why people choose to live in a place they do not like. Why go to an Asian country to make Western friends? You have plenty of them at home where you came from! Classical unadapted expat story: move to new country, do not want to learn the language, complain about everything and finally form a social network of unadapted foreigners to complain together even more about everything and feel better about their inadequacies.
Yeah, Kudos to you...